I have had a few conversations lately with people who seem to view staying home with your kids as a waste, a long pause in your otherwise productive and happy life. This has mainly come from young women who seem to hope that their life will be more fulfilling than their own mother’s.
I do understand some of their hesitancy about it. It can be a rather monotonous job; the cleaning, the diapers, the dishes, the laundry, the cooking are all very repetitive chores in my life. I do admit that it bogs me down and discourages me sometimes. I mean who really wants to clean a highchair five times a day? But taking care of your property (house, vehicles, clothing) are basic responsibilities that everyone has. While it may consume a bit of time, that is not the focus and real job that a stay at home mom is doing.
It is all about relationships. Life is all about relationships. What else can you take with you into eternity?
When Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment is, it is not surprising that his answer was all about relationships: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength" and "Love your neighbor as yourself". (Mark 12:28-34)
I was thinking about this and crying as I watched the movie It’s a Wonderful Life this year. That is a great movie. While George Bailey is discouraged with his life of unmet dreams and mundane responsibilities, he is given the chance to see what an incredible influence his life has had on other people.
I love this quote from the angel Clarence: “One man’s life touches so many others, when he’s not there it leaves an awfully big hole.”
Another one inscribed in the book that Clarence gave George: “Remember, no man is a failure who has friends.”
This year was the first time I noticed a sign hanging in George’s office below the picture of his father: “All you can take with you is that which you've given away.”
What more important relationships are there than your own family and children? I can think of nothing else I want to devote my life. I do not see this time with my children as a waste; I see it as a blessing.
Side note: Please do not hear me saying that all moms should stay home with their children. I think that is a decision for each family to make. I just wanted to express how it saddens me to hear young women disheartened that life may force them into such a mundane job as mine.
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5 comments:
Thanks for a great perspective on this. I too get frustrated with chores and impatient with my children, and yet I wouldn't go back to work right now unless I absolutely had too. Having this time with my kids--on both good days and bad--is invaluable.
I just watched "It's A Wonderful Life" for the first time this Christmas and loved it! It made me cry and it really spoke to me as we just recently made a decision to give up a high-paying job for a lower-paying one, in a large part because of the travel required for the other job and the fact that it would take us away from the strong family relationships we have here. Friendships may not pay off in terms of money, but in other ways they are priceless.
Joy & Lane, this is your cousin, Bobbie. Joy I love your blog. Keep it up. It really says a lot about stay at home mothers. I really enjoyed raising my children into wonderful loving adults and that's what this world needs. With Jesus in hand all things are possible.
Sorry we missed you at Thanksgiving time but hubby had no vacation time. Want to add that I worked on and off while my children were growing up but we had a blast when we were together, going to the park, McDonalds just for an ice cream and to play. The crafts we have done were filled with memories. This year I was able to do a craft project with my g-baby that I once did with my children at Christmas. Thank you Lane and Joy. All my Love Bobbie
I've been reflecting on the fact that you may not get all of the time you are expecting. The Kaluf's situation has made me see that today may be it... when I die will I want them to remember me rushing off to work? or will I want them to remember that I was here... here for them all hours of the day and night, no matter how hard... yep, that's what I want for them. I might go back to nursing when Matthew is year...but only VERY part time... if they have to come second, it isn't worth it!! Love you... fellow, SAHM!!Leanne
If the opportunity were given to me to be a stay-at-home mom, I would jump at the chance! =) I love your insight on this and I think it's only too true for some people. *Sigh* Since when is raising children to love the Lord, anything less than noble?!
Leanne, I think going back to nursing part-time is a fabulous idea! Do not feel guilty about that. You give the kids the largest chunk of your time; it's okay to take a little bit for yourself. I personally dream of having some sort of part-time job but it just isn't feasible yet... maybe someday...
Jenn, I know your heart wants to be home with your kids, but you too do not need to feel guilty. We do the best we can in the situations God gives us. I know you put your children as a priority in your life and I pray that you will be able to be home part-time with them as you hope!
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