Preschoolers struggle with sharing

“May I have the bucket please?” Matt asked Moriah. Well, after a bit of insistence from me that he ask nicely.

“Can you share the Thomas bucket with Matt?” I encouraged.

“No. I want the Thomas bucket,” replied Moriah.

“But you’re just holding it. You’re not even doing anything with it,” I sarcastically replied.

It was like the preschool version of keeping up with the Jones’. Just because she has it, I want it. Just because he wants it, I will horde it.

I tried to continue calmly persuading Moriah, but Matt’s patience wouldn’t stand for it. I decided on a diversion tactic by taking Moriah and the bucket up to bed with promises to Matt that I would keep trying.

“Can you share the Thomas bucket with Matt?” I asked Moriah after I had her settled in bed.

“I want the Thomas bucket.”

“But you are going to sleep. What do you want it for?”

There was a long thoughtful pause while her eyes searched the ceiling. Then she looked straight at me and said, “I want to play with it.”

I hadn’t actually expected her to answer that question so I stayed in dumbfounded silence. Then she took me by surprise, handed me the bucket, and said, “I want to share it with Matt.”

She went to bed happy. Matt went to bed happy. Yet the prize possession, the Thomas bucket, was left alone and forgotten in the living room.